Independent-do you know what that means?

independent: not dependent, not subject to control by others, not affiliated with a larger controlling unit, not requiring or relying on something else, not contigent, not looking to others for ones opinions or guidance in conduct.

That being said-what really makes an independent woman?

Is it a woman who has been through it all and is still standing?

Is it a woman who makes her own money-and got her own?

Is it a woman who "doesn't need no man"?

Is anyone ever truly independent?

I don't think so.

And why would they want to be?

Don't get me wrong-I'm the first to say I been through shit, haven't we all though? I've dealt with a little more than the average life share, and I'm still standing. I work, make my own money and pay my own bills. I take pride in knowing that at the end of the day I get it done.

But-at the end of that same day-I need to cool off on the phone with my best friend, I need a hug and kiss from my daughter, and I would like companionship of a man.

However- you will never hear me say I don't need a man, maybe I don't want a man, but those are two very different statements. Right now in my life, I am happy being single, but that's more because I'm happy with the way things are in my life, and I feel complete, I'm not seeking someone to complete me-rather compliment me.

After all-isn't the whole idea of a relationship based on an element of dependence?

What person wants to be in a relationship where they don't feel needed?

And I'm not talking about the "if you leave me I'll kill myself" or "If I can't have you noone will" type of need-but I'm talking about a man liking his woman to make him feel like the man, or a woman liking her man to make her feel like she's the best one on earth.

And what's the harm in letting someone know they're needed? It's a clear validation why you're with the person-and sometimes that validation is the only thing lacking in a relationship.

I think the idea of the independent woman has taken on a whole new meaning-what was originally financially stable, and successful has now morphed (kinda like when the big girls took over the term "thick"). Now you've got miserable, men hating, jaded women talkin 'bout "I don't need no man-I'm an independent woman!"

I'll tell ya what girlfriend, with that attitude you wont get "no man" either.

What happened to chivalry? I don't mind my man being a man-open my door, pull out my chair, take a little bit of control. Hell, some women are so offended by any gesture a man makes-they gave up the notion all together!

Is it possible that the independent woman has taken out the chivalrous man?